cracka-lackin.

My latest and greatest painting. Dum Dum De Alium.

Another one bites the dust.

Finished my latest painting.  36x24 acrylic on canvas. I still dont have a title for it.  Hmmm.

I have two words for you. Vagina boob.

So I guess lately I was having a case of the 'Mondays' regarding future plans, money, etc.  Work is work.  Nothing really ever changes about it.  I do well at my job.  I even get paid pretty well.  I know what I am supposed to do there inside and out.  I have been doing it for 11 years now.   I wouldn't say that it is time for a change, but I do believe I cannot do this forever.   Graphic design is like the music industry or fashion industry.  It changes rapidly, and if you don't keep up, there is a hundred other kids right around the corner who just got out of college, who are up to date with the current trends and who would probably do it faster and for less money.  My point is, there aren't a lot of 60 year old graphic designers working for corporate America.  If anything, they just freelance based on clients they have probably held for years. I think about this alot.

I think I am the kind of person who will always find a way to make money so I don't know why it bothers me so much.  I could get fired tomorrow and would be doing something within the next week I am sure.  

Tattooing was my fallback.  I apprenticed to become a tattooer, thinking that that is what my calling was. I spent years learning the business and the trade.  I even did it while juggling a lot of other bullshit in my life.  I worked 7 days a week for 2 years at 2 different jobs to make that happen.  It just so turned out, that the industry almost destroyed my spirit and the love of the art on MANY separate occasions.  The people, the clients, tv shows, trends, etc.  None of it was about the art.  Not even the tattooers I knew, and that I was close with, were very seldom passionate about the art itself.  It was always about egos and powertrips. However, this was and still is something that I can do easily and easily make money at, but it is just another job.  I wouldn't be in any different of a spot than I am right now, except for the fact that if I stuck with tattooing, I wouldn't have health insurance or a 401k.  Kari Barba once told me, 'You have to be passionate about tattoos.  You have to live and breathe tattoos.  When you are sleeping, you are dreaming about tattoos.'  She wasn't scolding me  - it was just something I remembered her saying from my apprenticeship.  It always stuck with me because well.... that passion was definately not there.   So when I say, 'fallback,' I mean its just always something I can do if need be, to make money.

Back to the point before I even get more sidetracked.  I have been confused about, 'whats next.'  What is the next chapter going to bring?   I didn't know.  I still don't know exactly.   But I got a nice inspiring talk from my ol' lady.  She's like, 'Look you love painting.  And everything else you do that you like, somehow involves art.'  There is no denying that.  'Whatever you do in life, will most likely have to do with some sort of art.'   Shes right.  She knew it and I know it also.   And I do love painting.  The problem was the force inside of me that wants to paint is usually most creative around 10am (when I am stuck at my job - haha).  Long story short, she basically said....you wanna get ahead...you gotta work at it even if you aren't making money.  You have to come home from work...and go back to work.  Her and I are no strangers to working for free to get ahead.  Tattoo apprenticeships aren't easy let me tell you, and breaking into her industry....lets just say she worked for free for a very long time.   Shes right though.  I love to paint and I think that is the main point.  So even if I dont make money at it right away or ever even, I should paint because that is what I like to do.   Don't paint for money.  Don't paint for anyone else.  Paint for yourself and perhaps one day....maybe I can make a buck or 2.

For now I am going to be happy with the job that I have.  Happy with the money I make and the benefits that I have.  And I am going to paint.  Paint more.   Do art.  Whatever that may entail.

Seacrest OUT.

Activities are essential.

I really haven't had much to say lately, and I haven't gotten any further on my painting.  My parents are in the process of moving and where they currently reside, sat my 1987 YZ250 dirtbike.  Obviously I did not want them to sell it or donate it  even though it had been probably sitting at their house for a good 2.5 years.  Sooo... I made my dad drive it down to me where I can fix it up.  This sort of took presidence over my painting because the bike wasn't in the best shape.  Especially for sitting for as long as it did.  Here is a picture when it came home.

I started by tearing it down.  Removing all of the old plastics, seat, tank, exhaust, etc.   I had to be able to see how dirty and gunky everything had become. Needless to say, it was filthy.  Here is the bike stripped of all its goodies.  Before starting with the outside (which normally I would want to do first - since I am so impatient and would much rather have that instant gradification), I decided to clean up the exhaust and carburator.  Here she is right before I pulled the carb out.

And just before I opened up the carb (which was spotless inside by the way - no dirt, no gas build up. The floats were working properly (or so it appears).

Once this was all done and put back together.  I wanted to do some light touch ups.  I cleaned the bike as well as I could without a pressure washer or anything and probably got a good gallon of grease off this thing.  I then started doing some cheap paint touch ups to the frame and the engine.  Nothing crazy.  I didn't pull anything apart, just stuck newspaper behind certain parts and sprayed away.

 

As dented as the pipe is, its not even that noticeable with a nice new coat of engine enamil on it. And with some fresh white paint on certain parts of the frame it really pops.  Next I put on the new fenders and back sideplates (which finding for this year - was no easy task), along with a new filter.  I tightened up the chain because it was a bit loose, and it was at this moment when I realized that the front tire didn't really hold air for more than a week.  IT kind of sucks because the tire has probably got about 85% tread left on it.  It was just sitting and rotting too long so the rubber has lots of cracks.  Off with the front tire.

Next i decided to tackle the seat.  I was going to attempt to just re-cover the old seat, which was cracked on the underside of it.  I started pulling off the seat cover only to find another seat cover right underneath it. The original seat cover had many splits and cuts in it (which...came with mold, probably from when people would wash the bike and not take the seat off - so water got into the foam)  Here is a picture of the seat with the two wraps. 

So anyway...found a new seat on Ebay for like 20 bucks and recovered that one.  no cracks.  Good foam. And brand new seat wrap.   Here it is with the new seat. Front tire is off.  MOre to come.

Art takes many forms

Something about you that people don't know.  Remember having to come up with an answer to one of those 'getting to know you' questionnaires?  I never really knew what to put.  I never took myself for an extra-ordinary type of person and could never think of one thing about me that a) people didn't already know, and or b) would find interesting enough to want to know it.

I guess the one thing that I have kind of kept under wraps would be my love for writing.  Believe me there is nothing more manly than sitting down and writing poems, or songs, or short stories.  I have never been trained in classical writing techniques, or any techniques for that matter, so I don't necessarily think that what I write, is written well.   I am no expert at punctuation, spelling, or even the elementary-level knowledge of your basic english grammar.

I do however appreciate writing as an artform and I know that it is very hard to do. My grandfather was a writer.  My mother loves to write.  My uncle actually makes money off of his writing, and even my old lady was trained as a writer.  I guess it makes sense to be in the position of liking the written words.

I definately have to say that my favorite writers, are Edgar Allen Poe and Anne Rice.  I love Poe's intricate poems and stories and I love trying to decipher them without researching what they 'really' mean.  Anne wrote the Vampire Chronicles and if you know me at all, you may know that I have a slight obsession with vampires and it was instilled in me way before the hoaky Twilights and True Bloods came out. I have a thing for the macabre.   Stephen King was never something I got into until recently (no thanks to my better half) and although I still have never read a full Stephen King book, I have probably seen every movie based on his books and quite frankly, my inner artist is daring me to try and go back and read them.  The problem was that when I was younger, I always thought of Stephen King books, as 'adult' books and I wasn't an adult, and therefore I probably wouldn't understand them.  Lazy, I know.  Another problem was that I am such a visual person that reading didn't hold my attention very long, especially stories that were so outrageously fiction, that I just couldn't get behind them.  I think that is why I loved the Vampire Chronicles so much.  Although part of fiction and vampires not being real and all, Anne made them human.  Gave them emotions, and anger and they seemed real to me.

This entry has to do with writing because I was digging through some old stuff and found an old poems/song that I had written and I will share it with you now if you promise not to laugh.  :)

(untitled)
Weightless in this dream...
falling.
Balancing on this beam...
but crawling.
Levels of insecurity...
breathless and appalling.
Never has my calling,
been ripping at the seam.

One Glance into your eyes...
waiting.
A forgotten world of lies...
fading.
Overwhelming feelings...
widely overrating.
The pain that you're creating,
dissolves within your cries.

My hand upon your shoulder...
squeezing.
Your arms have gotten colder...
freezing.
Devastating times...
lie dormant but appeasing.
Your heart begins the teasing...
because your mind is getting older.


I have also written the beginning of a screenplay but have changed my mind about it so many times it never goes anywhere, and have written numerous poems however I dont really have any of them.   Maybe every once and awhile I will post something I write as part of my 'art' but it is extremely rare.  Anyway... Fuck you everybody GOOD NIGHT! :)

not much to say today...

But you can check out some progress shots of my latest painting.  I have done a bit more since the last one of these were taken.   The funny thing about my paintings (in case you wanted to know) is that when I am painting, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. lol.

*Sigh* It can be intimidating.

I am sorry if this insert sounds like a pep-talk to myself, because thats kind of exactly what is going to happen, so bear with me.

Knowing a lot of people within the tattoo community gives you a glimpse of some real new-age artists that are out and about, and I dont necessarily mean their tattoo work either.  Everyday through networking I see amazing paintings come from some of these guys.  Uuuuhmazing.  Artists like Shawn Barber, Carlos Torres, Carlos Rojas, (just to name a couple that I can think of at the moment) do some seriously amazing paintings. 

These are the guys that I was talking about.  You know, the people that have done it already and are doing it better than you ever could. Remember?  That is very intimidating to aspiring artists.  It almost makes you develop a 'why bother' syndrome.  I admit that sometimes just seeing other peoples' art makes me feel incredibly inferior.  Oh, but then I remember things like 'pop art,' 'cubism,' and 'abstract expressionism,' and things of that nature that I know are very well respected forms of artwork, but nothing that I personally can call amazing.  I also think there is a HUGE difference between Pablo Picasso and Andy Warhol.  I think everyone can agree on that.

With that said, there are many many many unknown artists out there who are amazing. And I think each can be amazing in his/her own way.  Although some art may not be to my taste, I can certainly still appreciate it. A difference of opinion does not make something bad or good.  And sure there are some un-official rules in art, but like someone once said, “To blossom forth, a work of art must ignore or rather forget all the rules.” - Pablo Picasso. 

If Picasso can understand this concept, I dont understand why there are so many hoity toity people out there who think that their criticisms is what decides the fate of 'whats hot' and 'whats not,' and what can or cannot be labeled as 'art.'  Isn't it ALL art?  Who is to say that you did it wrong, if it came from your heart, and from your mind, and from your soul?  Who is to say that you didn't follow the rules?  Who is to say that your art... is no good?  Who am I to say that? Who is anyone, to be able to say that to me?   The correct answer is nobody.  You dont have to have a fancy degree and have attended an art institute to be an artist.  Training does not hurt anybody, but even a chimpanzee can be taught to slap some paint on a canvas with a brush.  Art is about feeling, and emotion, and painting whatever it is you desire to paint. 

I guess the main bullet point in this powerpoint would be; it doesn't matter if there are people out there better than you.  There will always be someone better than you.  So do what you love.  Make that thing you call 'art' happen and don't let anyone discourage you or take away what you are passionate about.   Its not about them.  Its about you.  Its about you.

Inspiration

My main inspiration comes from this man right here. David Mann.

To me, this man did something that had never been done before, and if it had, nobody did it like him.  He was a painter/illustrator and his style has been compared to those of Normal Rockwell paintings(another favorite artist I love and admire).

He painted motorcycles.  Plain and simple.  Thats not all he painted, but that is what he is most known for.  Motorcycles and the life and culture that comes along with them. He painted stories of peoples lives that made even people not involved with the motorcycle community - understand.

He got connected with one of the biggest motorcycle/chopper magazines in the industry; 'Eazyriders;' and people looked forward to his entries whenever a new issue was released.  To me, that was genius.  Paint what you like, paint what you know, and then show them to half the world by putting them in a magazine that is for the same general target audience that you are painting for.  Inspiring.

I wouldn't say that Dave was the best painter in the world, not by far, but he was good at what he painted and he painted what he loved and he stuck to it.  I know that I am not the best painter in the world.  I couldn't even begin to aspire to be the best painter in the world.  I think that is why it is hard for me to focus on one medium or interest.  Someone has already done it, and someone has already done it better than you ever could. I can do a lot of things well, but I am a master of none.  What makes it even worse is that I dont necessarily want to be a master.  I mean, if I was, then great, but if not... I just want to make sure I am not wasting my time or talent - because I do believe I have talent (if only a pinky finger full)

So really when I say he is my inspiration, I am not saying he is the best of the best artists in the world, but he combined 2 things he was good at, and those 2 things made him an icon.   My style of painting and things that I like are very different than those of Dave Mann.  Perhaps one day, my style of art and my paintings can bring joy and influence to others, as much as he has done for me, because what is art...without letting the world see it?

Damn Artists

So, I created this blog to humor my intensive need to release thoughts and ideas and not hold them in .  It is simply another way to express myself.  What I am doing, what I am thinking, feeling, etc.  It's just an outlet.

I will post pictures of my art here and there (both finished and in progress) and in the future I am hoping that this will be just my full-blown artist blog as opposed to me probably ranting and bitching about stuff.  

I feel like I have just recently awoken from a stupid slumber.  I have always had a passion for art.  Painting, probably being my favorite. I have been a graphic designer for 12 years now.  I have painted, been an illustrator, a sculptor, a writer, a musician, and a tattooer, so I am very familiar with numerous mediums. And finally, I think I have realized a few things.

My problem is that I have always wanted to do everything (if that makes sense).  You start one thing, then get bored of it, and start another.  I might finish what I start, but there was no follow-through.  No advancement.  Nothing held my interest long enough for me to want to passionately pursue it.  So I just work my normal 9-5 doing computer graphics and gettin paid wondering what the hell I should be doing in life. 

As well as art, motorcycles are another passion of mine.  I grew up on dirtbikes and when I was old enough and financially stable enough to buy a Harley, I bought one.  Even with bikes I wish I knew how to build them.  How to do metal fabrication work, and just having the know how of how everything works. But alas I am no motorycle mechanic and I do not pretend to be.  The pursuit of obtaining that knowledge would not work out with my lifestyle now anyhow.

So the big question is... 'What do you want to do?'  What do you like to do?  What makes you happy and what will keep you happy so that you will continue to do it.   1 of them is painting.  The other is motorcycles.  The answer seems obvious to me.  Here is my first finished painting from my new venture and hopefully many more to come. Stay tuned.