I'm a loner Dottie. A rebel.

Aside from competitions...I see that a lot of people tend to do what I call, 'group activity' art.   Get together and make some art. They do it for fun.  Seems like that's some pretty free-spirit, hippy bullshit to me.   In fact, I have tried to get this going with some of my other artistic friends before, cuz who knows? Maybe it would have been fun had it worked out for us.  In all honesty though,  it would only last for about 10 minutes before our focus turns to anything other than art and we just end up screwing around and getting drunk or something.

I tried.  I wanted to be involved with an art community and so much of it now, seems so fake and corny to me.  A lot of the work I admire... is weird, dark, and mysterious.  A lot of these group art shows or art communities who meet on a regular basis, are very happy-go-lucky and that's just not me.  I mean I think its important to compete against your peers or see what everyone else is doing, but I don't really want to hang out with you? If that makes sense.  I don't think I am a lime light type of person.  When I do something that is recognized by someone, I get embarrassed or anxious, especially if its face to face.  I wish I could sell paintings from behind the curtain in Wizard of Oz for the rest of my life.   Never have to talk to someone in person.  Never have to see someone in person, and just do what I do from my art cave and have it magically float out into the world.

Lucky for me, technology is doing just this.   I will continue to do what I do, the best way I know how, being the recluse that I am, until I find a better way (for me) to do it.  Perhaps I never will, and I am ok with that.

and in other news...

So not much has been going on lately, although I did sell the Harley sign painting to a private party.  It was completely awesome because I know it went somewhere that someone was going to appreciate it.  A real motorcycle riding fool!

The Orange County Fair is also going to be coming up. I submitted my painting 'America' and hopefully it does not get rejected for any weird reason.  Hopefully it will pass 'art critic' inspection and be put on display for a few months.  I really like the OC fair because A: as long as you are approved, you get to show your work to hundreds of people you might never show work to,  B: you can sell your work and the fair does not take a cut.  And C: there is a small competition.

I'm not big on winning competitions.  I actually could care less.  However, I think it is important to compete with people.  See what they are doing.  See what judges think, etc.   I think its important to at least stand up to competition at the very least.  Let everyone know that you deserve to be there and you believe you can win, whether or not you actually do win.  Either way...here is my submission all framed up and ready to go!

Still trying to pick up the pace with art, but I only have so much time after my dayjob that I have been using to work out more, eat healthier, and ride harleys.   Vagina Boob.

Critics are the worst

Critiquing someone else's work, giving your humble opinion, and using the voice you have been given to blantantly destroy someone else's artistic outlet, doesn't mean shit to me.  Opinions are like assholes.  Everyone has one.

The past few months

I have been going through an extremely challenging time in my life the past year or so.  Nothing bad.  Just personally teeter-tottering on what to do with myself in the creative process.  I am not getting any younger. The past few months however have been enlightening to say the least.  In 2013, I will make a continuous effort to focus on what I believe is my true-calling.  And that is painting. I have made the conscious effort to cut out tattooing almost completely as it is not something that I enjoy whole-heartedly and cannot see myself doing as a 'job.'

Some of the changes that have been made to keep me on track, with the help of my other half and others that believe in what I should be doing with my spare time, are as follows:

I will be getting a business license under my name, for tax purposes, and of course, in the event that I actually sell some art, even though at this point, I am not in the business of painting... to make money.

With the blessing and encouragement of my significant other, we packed up the guest bed, and made our guest bedroom into an art studio.  This means I will no longer have to paint in the garage in the blaring summer heat, or the extremely cold winters, although I was partial to painting out there when it rained during the day.  :)

I have made the decision to update my equipment.  It is completely inspiring to be working off quality equipment in a space that is adequate for doing so.   Here is a couple pictures of my brand new easel. 

You can see one of my old rickety easels in the background of the first picture (which belonged to my late grandfather) and I will never get rid of it.

In the second picture - to the right, you can see the easel I mainly used which was a hand me down and rickety as shit with missing parts, etc.

My new Santa Fe is solid and sturdy and could handle floor-to-ceiling canvasses if I want.  This was an extremely important buy for me.  Sort of a personal milestone in my eyes.  To me, its saying that I have made a choice and have decided to go down that route.  As you can see, I have done a tad more on the skull but put it on hold for the holidays and this lovely guest bedroom/art studio transformation to take place.

There are a few more things that I would like to get for the studio but for now I am perfectly capable of getting back to painting.

Some of the things I still wish to acquire are:
- some wall mounted backdrops for doing still life photos, etc.
- more paint brushes (you can never have enough)
- a few books
- some frames
- a website
- stuff to set up my own booth where ever I want.  Canopy, banner, etc.

cracka-lackin.

My latest and greatest painting. Dum Dum De Alium.

Another one bites the dust.

Finished my latest painting.  36x24 acrylic on canvas. I still dont have a title for it.  Hmmm.

I have two words for you. Vagina boob.

So I guess lately I was having a case of the 'Mondays' regarding future plans, money, etc.  Work is work.  Nothing really ever changes about it.  I do well at my job.  I even get paid pretty well.  I know what I am supposed to do there inside and out.  I have been doing it for 11 years now.   I wouldn't say that it is time for a change, but I do believe I cannot do this forever.   Graphic design is like the music industry or fashion industry.  It changes rapidly, and if you don't keep up, there is a hundred other kids right around the corner who just got out of college, who are up to date with the current trends and who would probably do it faster and for less money.  My point is, there aren't a lot of 60 year old graphic designers working for corporate America.  If anything, they just freelance based on clients they have probably held for years. I think about this alot.

I think I am the kind of person who will always find a way to make money so I don't know why it bothers me so much.  I could get fired tomorrow and would be doing something within the next week I am sure.  

Tattooing was my fallback.  I apprenticed to become a tattooer, thinking that that is what my calling was. I spent years learning the business and the trade.  I even did it while juggling a lot of other bullshit in my life.  I worked 7 days a week for 2 years at 2 different jobs to make that happen.  It just so turned out, that the industry almost destroyed my spirit and the love of the art on MANY separate occasions.  The people, the clients, tv shows, trends, etc.  None of it was about the art.  Not even the tattooers I knew, and that I was close with, were very seldom passionate about the art itself.  It was always about egos and powertrips. However, this was and still is something that I can do easily and easily make money at, but it is just another job.  I wouldn't be in any different of a spot than I am right now, except for the fact that if I stuck with tattooing, I wouldn't have health insurance or a 401k.  Kari Barba once told me, 'You have to be passionate about tattoos.  You have to live and breathe tattoos.  When you are sleeping, you are dreaming about tattoos.'  She wasn't scolding me  - it was just something I remembered her saying from my apprenticeship.  It always stuck with me because well.... that passion was definately not there.   So when I say, 'fallback,' I mean its just always something I can do if need be, to make money.

Back to the point before I even get more sidetracked.  I have been confused about, 'whats next.'  What is the next chapter going to bring?   I didn't know.  I still don't know exactly.   But I got a nice inspiring talk from my ol' lady.  She's like, 'Look you love painting.  And everything else you do that you like, somehow involves art.'  There is no denying that.  'Whatever you do in life, will most likely have to do with some sort of art.'   Shes right.  She knew it and I know it also.   And I do love painting.  The problem was the force inside of me that wants to paint is usually most creative around 10am (when I am stuck at my job - haha).  Long story short, she basically said....you wanna get ahead...you gotta work at it even if you aren't making money.  You have to come home from work...and go back to work.  Her and I are no strangers to working for free to get ahead.  Tattoo apprenticeships aren't easy let me tell you, and breaking into her industry....lets just say she worked for free for a very long time.   Shes right though.  I love to paint and I think that is the main point.  So even if I dont make money at it right away or ever even, I should paint because that is what I like to do.   Don't paint for money.  Don't paint for anyone else.  Paint for yourself and perhaps one day....maybe I can make a buck or 2.

For now I am going to be happy with the job that I have.  Happy with the money I make and the benefits that I have.  And I am going to paint.  Paint more.   Do art.  Whatever that may entail.

Seacrest OUT.